23rd Issue @ Geisha Today Working with women is troublesome???

Kiriko： ”Boss, I brought you the document.”
Her boss： ”...Seems like it wouldn’t do...Can you make this part rearranged?”
Kiriko：（Hey, I made an effort!! Can’t you be a little nicer?）


- It would be so easy with men…

In business world, “results” count.
No revenue, no business.
Sounds like an of course thing, doesn’t it?

For men, it’s so understandable to focus on results.
As I previously mentioned in “Let’s Praise Them”,
men has been naturally focused on results.

The boss focused on “result” in this case, too.
That’s why he sounded a bit harsh to Kiriko.
If Kiriko was a man, there’s no problem here.
Man'd understand there should be a rearrangement to gain the result.

This is exactly why there’re some men complaining
“female subordinates are too complicated to give jobs.”
But in fact, it’s not that difficult.
They just don’t know how to.


- Caring

So, what does the boss have to do with Kiriko?

He just needs to care about her.
When Kiriko brought him the document,
He could have said, “Thanks, tired a little?” or,
“I noticed you worked hard on this for a whole week.”

Also, he could ask Kirko how to revise the document after pointing out the shortcomings.
In other words, he could have let her taking responsibility.
Of course, it’s the job of supervisors to direct subordinates when they seem to be lost, though.

But leaving responsibility to herself will motivate Kiriko so much.
Moreover, she’ll improve!!
Women need much more motivation than men when they do business.
It’s the boss’s job to provide them comfortable working environment.

Gentlemen, please give them much more caring for your own sake!!

Of course, men need caring once in a while, too!!

22nd Issue @ Geisha Today Obstacles for Women to Work

Yuko: “I wanna work outside, too!!”
Yuko, a housewife, said this to her hus.
Obviously, her husband’s against it.

There’re still many men who are awkward about their wives working outside.
How do their mentality work?

- Men’s rights!？
Why is it that Yuko’s hus doesn’t allow her to work?
He wouldn’t say the reason.
（It’s because he, too, doesn’t know why.）
But if you see the issue from men’s point of view, it’s easy to understand.

Men lose something when their wives work outside.
And that something is always the same...
The right for them to work and earn money.

When husbands earn the living cost, surely their wives appreciate their work.
Husbands are exactly afraid of losing this feeling of women.

Men tend to feel they are accepted by their family for their income.
If their wives work outside, too, then things are going to be different...!?
This is how they see the issue.。

- To be needed
So, ladies with husbands, are you telling your partners that you are
“happy just because they’re there”?

Embarrassing, huh?
But this is important.
Because this is the key to their approval on your working outside.

You partners want you to stay at home, because they feel
they’re worthless among the families without their income.
You need to encourage them by telling them
they mean a lot to you by merely being there!!

21st Issue @ Geisha Today Pursuit of Dreams

Mayumi : “Are you crazy? Why the hell do you wanna quit your job?”
Kenji : “Well...I’ve got something I really wanna do.”
Mayumi : “But, but, then what’s gonna happen to our life...?”

Mayumi and Kenji got married 3 year ago.
Kenji has worked for a well-known company, and Mayumi has been a housewife.
Up to now, they got along well, except for little ordinal fightings.

Then Kenji said he wants to start his business.

- Guys are dream pursuer
Kenji seems finally to have determined on starting his business.
But Mayumi’s obviously against it.
Why does Kenji prefer taking risks after all those secure years at work?

Well...every guy wants to challenge something once in his life.
No matter how old we are, we have dreams deep inside.

It can be horse racing, it can be a rock musician.
And it can be starting our own business.
"It" varies from person to person, but we all have the same desire.

Guys wanna be heroes.
Ladies, please understand our desire.
Please don’t say, “I don’t think you’ll succeed” when we’re serious.
When we determine, we already use up all the courage.
Please start from trying to understand us.

- Women value security
Mayumi is against Kenji’s idea of quitting his job.
True, when they got married, that wasn’t in the plan..
Mayumi can be reasonably confused.

As we discussed in "Sense of Happiness", women like to feel small happiness in everyday life.
They need to have small but many happiness in their lives.

So, from girls’ point of view, which is happier?
（１） Their partner is trying to be a famous musician
（２） Their partner works for a well-known major company.

Surely most women would choose（２）.
Stable life signifies more small happiness in everyday life, doesn’t it?
My fellow guys, women value stability to ensure happy life.
Of course, stability includes stable income as well.

- Conclusion
Mayumi isn’t really against Kenji’s idea of starting his business.
She just got scared they might lose their “stable” happy life by that.
And Kenji also wants Mayumi to be happy.

So why do they fight?
It’s because they don’t understand each other's mentality.

Guys wanna be heroes, and women want stable life.
We need to understand each other before really discussing the matter.

Kenji can start his business without hustle-bustle by taking following steps, under Mayumi’s approval.
He may start his business little by little before quitting his job at once.
When he earns more by his new business than current job, he can quit the job.
Kenji discusses several decision factors to quit the new business in case it doesn’t go well beforehand with Mayumi.

Each side has to compromise a little.
But we do need to respect each other’s feelings.

20th Issue @ Geisha Today Before You Preach

Yuko : “I don’t understand why you have to always mess around your room.”

Yuko said this to her son, Ryo.
Does he? I mean, does Ryo always mess around his room?
Actually, the answer is No.

When women get angry, they say things emotionally, rather than logically.
Yuko, in this case, simply means, “Clean up your room.”

- Ladies, do you use these terms a lot?
Like I said, women say things emotionally, rather than logically.
That’s why they say things like these when they're angry.

“You‘re always like that!!”
”You never clean up, do you?”
”Everyone does this!!”

Always...never...everyone...
Ladies, do you use these terms a lot?

- When you preach kids
Increasing kids hate themselves nowadays.
It’s a shame, isn’t it?
We all need to like ourselves if we wanna enjoy our lives.
Kids who can’t accept themselves tend to be isolated later on.

Why the talk of self-acceptance all of a sudden, you're wondering?
Because this is related to the topic I mentioned earlier.
Right, women hurt kids’ pride by their way of preaching.

Always...never...everyone...
These words deny kids' personality.

In the case of Ryo, for example,
it’s not true that he “always” messes around his room,
or that he “never” cleans it up.
It’s far from truth that “everyone” cleans up his/her room.

BUT, by using those words, Yuko hurts Ryo's personality.
He’d seriously believe, “I’m worse than everyone, and I always mess things up.”
Ryo might end up not being able to accept himself.

- When you preach adults
Adults are easier.
We grown-up guys can say, “I do clean up my room sometimes.”
Yeah, that will exactly lead to a more severe fight, though...
Because you women will say, “that’s not the point.”
But we have to be logical, you know.

Those words like “always”, “never” and “everyone” do irritate us, though.
So ladies, please be careful when you preach someone.

- So what to do?
Just don’t deny others’ personality when you preach them.

Ladies, here’s the ideal preaching example.
”You didn’t clean up your room today. That’s bad.”
If you say this, your kid will know you put emphasis on “cleaning” itself.
Focus on necessary action.

Your way of treating influences your kids a lot.
Of course, guys need to do their share of kids raising, too,
if you want your kids to be self-content.

And to guys...refer to the 15th issue, “How to Make Guys Appologize”.
Remember, you’re raising them as well as your kids.

19th Issue @ Geisha Today Guy’s Sight

Mami ： “Look!! He seems so weird!!”
This is when Mami and Kazuki played pool.
Mami looked around others and found a good looking guy playing in weird style.
Yes, that guy was surely handsome with his hipshaking...

Isn’t that one of the things you enjoy when playing pool, girls?
But Kazuki looked straight forward the guy...in stead of peeking.
Mami thought, “guys...they can never be good on disguising.”

Here’s the thing, girls.
Guys can’t peek!!

- Guy’s sight is limited.
Girls, didn’t you have the experience being embarrassed by your guys this way?
As you can see, guys can only see forward, not back.
We aren’t skillful like you, girls.
Some book even say “guys can’t find ketchup in the fridge.”
See how our sight is limited?
’Cuz we see only forward, we can’t look around to find the ketchup.

I myself often lose sight of my controllers.
Even though it’s usually me who put it on the corner.
I guess you girls don’t have this problem...

- Please don’t get annoyed
Girls, please don’t get annoyed.
That doesn’t mean we guys are damn.
We look only the forward, and we take time to look for small things,
just ‘cuz we’re guys!!

If you want us to peek, just remind us.
It becomes better...a little.
And when we take time finding controllers, don’t say a word.
Or it might be better you girls find them.

Please take us just the way we are.
Don’t get annoyed...

18th Issue @ Geisha Today Princess

Princess lifting...
You know what I mean, guys, the one we saw in “Gone with the Wind”.
Did you have the experience of doing it? Or letting someone do it?

- “Near and classy”
Guys, do you understand what girls want for your date?
Girls want “near and classy” date.
Girls wanna be “princess” by dressing like one some time.
BUT, if they dress like princess, they can’t walk much with high-heels.

Guys, you should try it some time.
High-heels are really hurting...

So now we know girls wanna dress like princess some time.
They enjoy the process.
So don’t spoil their fan.
Make your date in near spot but classy.
Like fancy restaurants nearby, or trendy bars.
This is reeealy important.
You’re keeping your girls beautiful by bringing them to fancy dates.

- Girls are princess
I said girls wanna be “princess”.
They don’t.
They are actually princesses from the day they were born.
And they’re happy when they’re treated like so.

Check out the CF from “ゼクシー”, if you doubt.
You’ll get the message saying, “all girls are princesses”.
Guys, girls might use other way of saying, but they do have the feeling of “princess”.
You needto recognize it, and live with that!!

17th Issue @ Geisha Today Sense of Happiness

“O, I feel so happy...”

Both you guys and girls sure had this feeling in your life, right?
But how many of you knew girls and guys have different sense of happiness?
If you know how it’s different, you know how to survive...uh, sorry,
how to get along with your mate.

- We’ll start from conclusion
Guys like to feel a great happiness in once.
But girls like to sense each small happiness in everyday life.
Guys, REMEMBER this, or you’ll get into trouble.

- Guy’s sense of happiness
If you refer to 4th Issue ("Let's Praise Them!!),
you know guys feel happy when you compliment?
This is important.
Guys need to feel happy as a result of some effort.
Like when they accomplish the tough projects they were on for past 6 months.
They’re genuinely excited.
Think of that!! 6 months!!
They sure like to take time for feeling happy!!
Sound stupid?
But this IS when they, we, feel happy.

Guys like to feel a great happiness in once.

No wonder most of engineers are male.
You can’t be an engineer if you don’t find it worth taking time before achieving something...

- Girl’s sense of happiness
I had a great Ceyron tea this morning!!
My boyfriend cooked for me!!
I found a dress of my kind!!

Girls sure have lots of sources for happiness.
Really lots, and not huge ones, either.
They enjoy everything they do.
Shopping, tea time, diners...

Girls like to sense each small happiness in everyday life.

- Hasn’t it occurred to you？
Misa ： “ You don’t care for me anymore!!”
Nobuyuki ： “I AM caring you!! That’s why I work so hard everyday!!”
"And I did buy you a present on our anniversary.”

Did you realize this argument is based on the different sense of happiness
between girls and guys?
Guys think girls are happy after giving one big present.
But girls feel they couldn’t find small happiness for so long after the big present.

Guys, don’t be swept away...
You’ve given your best, right?
Working hard everyday, celebrating your anniversary...

But there’s one truth.
Partners need to feel happy if you wanna keep the relationship.

So, what do we have to do?
Easy question!!
You need to buy flowers, rub your girl’s shoulders, take them to dinners...
That’s all.
You just need to do these once in a while.
And your girl will act totally different to you.

- Treat them big for guys
So it’s your turn, girls.
What do you need to do for us, guys?
Treat us big!!

We guys like to have great happiness!!
So we won’t forget it if you celebrate big when we accomplish long-term projects!!
Remember, do it BIG.
And as we’re guys, we won’t need to be cared for long afterwords...

- In the end
Guys like to feel a great happiness in once.
But girls like to sense each small happiness in everyday life.
This is a big difference.
Let’s remember this, and find happiness in the relationship!!