20th Issue @ Geisha Today Before You Preach

Yuko : “I don’t understand why you have to always mess around your room.”

Yuko said this to her son, Ryo.
Does he? I mean, does Ryo always mess around his room?
Actually, the answer is No.

When women get angry, they say things emotionally, rather than logically.
Yuko, in this case, simply means, “Clean up your room.”

- Ladies, do you use these terms a lot?
Like I said, women say things emotionally, rather than logically.
That’s why they say things like these when they're angry.

“You‘re always like that!!”
”You never clean up, do you?”
”Everyone does this!!”

Always...never...everyone...
Ladies, do you use these terms a lot?

- When you preach kids
Increasing kids hate themselves nowadays.
It’s a shame, isn’t it?
We all need to like ourselves if we wanna enjoy our lives.
Kids who can’t accept themselves tend to be isolated later on.

Why the talk of self-acceptance all of a sudden, you're wondering?
Because this is related to the topic I mentioned earlier.
Right, women hurt kids’ pride by their way of preaching.

Always...never...everyone...
These words deny kids' personality.

In the case of Ryo, for example,
it’s not true that he “always” messes around his room,
or that he “never” cleans it up.
It’s far from truth that “everyone” cleans up his/her room.

BUT, by using those words, Yuko hurts Ryo's personality.
He’d seriously believe, “I’m worse than everyone, and I always mess things up.”
Ryo might end up not being able to accept himself.

- When you preach adults
Adults are easier.
We grown-up guys can say, “I do clean up my room sometimes.”
Yeah, that will exactly lead to a more severe fight, though...
Because you women will say, “that’s not the point.”
But we have to be logical, you know.

Those words like “always”, “never” and “everyone” do irritate us, though.
So ladies, please be careful when you preach someone.

- So what to do?
Just don’t deny others’ personality when you preach them.

Ladies, here’s the ideal preaching example.
”You didn’t clean up your room today. That’s bad.”
If you say this, your kid will know you put emphasis on “cleaning” itself.
Focus on necessary action.

Your way of treating influences your kids a lot.
Of course, guys need to do their share of kids raising, too,
if you want your kids to be self-content.

And to guys...refer to the 15th issue, “How to Make Guys Appologize”.
Remember, you’re raising them as well as your kids.