Geisha Today

23rd Issue @ Geisha Today Working with women is troublesome???

2006-09-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

Kiriko： ”Boss, I brought you the document.”
Her boss： ”...Seems like it wouldn’t do...Can you make this part rearranged?”
Kiriko：（Hey, I made an effort!! Can’t you be a little nicer?）

- It would be so easy with men…

In business world, “results” count.
No revenue, no business.
Sounds like an of course thing, doesn’t it?

For men, it’s so understandable to focus on results.
As I previously mentioned in “Let’s Praise Them”,
men has been naturally focused on results.

The boss focused on “result” in this case, too.
That’s why he sounded a bit harsh to Kiriko.
If Kiriko was a man, there’s no problem here.
Man'd understand there should be a rearrangement to gain the result.

This is exactly why there’re some men complaining
“female subordinates are too complicated to give jobs.”
But in fact, it’s not that difficult.
They just don’t know how to.

- Caring

So, what does the boss have to do with Kiriko?

He just needs to care about her.
When Kiriko brought him the document,
He could have said, “Thanks, tired a little?” or,
“I noticed you worked hard on this for a whole week.”

Also, he could ask Kirko how to revise the document after pointing out the shortcomings.
In other words, he could have let her taking responsibility.
Of course, it’s the job of supervisors to direct subordinates when they seem to be lost, though.

But leaving responsibility to herself will motivate Kiriko so much.
Moreover, she’ll improve!!
Women need much more motivation than men when they do business.
It’s the boss’s job to provide them comfortable working environment.

Gentlemen, please give them much more caring for your own sake!!

Of course, men need caring once in a while, too!!

22nd Issue @ Geisha Today Obstacles for Women to Work

2006-09-11T04:45:00.000-07:00

Yuko: “I wanna work outside, too!!”
Yuko, a housewife, said this to her hus.
Obviously, her husband’s against it.

There’re still many men who are awkward about their wives working outside.
How do their mentality work?

- Men’s rights!？
Why is it that Yuko’s hus doesn’t allow her to work?
He wouldn’t say the reason.
（It’s because he, too, doesn’t know why.）
But if you see the issue from men’s point of view, it’s easy to understand.

Men lose something when their wives work outside.
And that something is always the same...
The right for them to work and earn money.

When husbands earn the living cost, surely their wives appreciate their work.
Husbands are exactly afraid of losing this feeling of women.

Men tend to feel they are accepted by their family for their income.
If their wives work outside, too, then things are going to be different...!?
This is how they see the issue.。

- To be needed
So, ladies with husbands, are you telling your partners that you are
“happy just because they’re there”?

Embarrassing, huh?
But this is important.
Because this is the key to their approval on your working outside.

You partners want you to stay at home, because they feel
they’re worthless among the families without their income.
You need to encourage them by telling them
they mean a lot to you by merely being there!!

21st Issue @ Geisha Today Pursuit of Dreams

2006-08-07T03:33:00.000-07:00

Mayumi : “Are you crazy? Why the hell do you wanna quit your job?”
Kenji : “Well...I’ve got something I really wanna do.”
Mayumi : “But, but, then what’s gonna happen to our life...?”

Mayumi and Kenji got married 3 year ago.
Kenji has worked for a well-known company, and Mayumi has been a housewife.
Up to now, they got along well, except for little ordinal fightings.

Then Kenji said he wants to start his business.

- Guys are dream pursuer
Kenji seems finally to have determined on starting his business.
But Mayumi’s obviously against it.
Why does Kenji prefer taking risks after all those secure years at work?

Well...every guy wants to challenge something once in his life.
No matter how old we are, we have dreams deep inside.

It can be horse racing, it can be a rock musician.
And it can be starting our own business.
"It" varies from person to person, but we all have the same desire.

Guys wanna be heroes.
Ladies, please understand our desire.
Please don’t say, “I don’t think you’ll succeed” when we’re serious.
When we determine, we already use up all the courage.
Please start from trying to understand us.

- Women value security
Mayumi is against Kenji’s idea of quitting his job.
True, when they got married, that wasn’t in the plan..
Mayumi can be reasonably confused.

As we discussed in "Sense of Happiness", women like to feel small happiness in everyday life.
They need to have small but many happiness in their lives.

So, from girls’ point of view, which is happier?
（１） Their partner is trying to be a famous musician
（２） Their partner works for a well-known major company.

Surely most women would choose（２）.
Stable life signifies more small happiness in everyday life, doesn’t it?
My fellow guys, women value stability to ensure happy life.
Of course, stability includes stable income as well.

- Conclusion
Mayumi isn’t really against Kenji’s idea of starting his business.
She just got scared they might lose their “stable” happy life by that.
And Kenji also wants Mayumi to be happy.

So why do they fight?
It’s because they don’t understand each other's mentality.

Guys wanna be heroes, and women want stable life.
We need to understand each other before really discussing the matter.

Kenji can start his business without hustle-bustle by taking following steps, under Mayumi’s approval.
He may start his business little by little before quitting his job at once.
When he earns more by his new business than current job, he can quit the job.
Kenji discusses several decision factors to quit the new business in case it doesn’t go well beforehand with Mayumi.

Each side has to compromise a little.
But we do need to respect each other’s feelings.

20th Issue @ Geisha Today Before You Preach

2006-07-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

Yuko : “I don’t understand why you have to always mess around your room.”

Yuko said this to her son, Ryo.
Does he? I mean, does Ryo always mess around his room?
Actually, the answer is No.

When women get angry, they say things emotionally, rather than logically.
Yuko, in this case, simply means, “Clean up your room.”

- Ladies, do you use these terms a lot?
Like I said, women say things emotionally, rather than logically.
That’s why they say things like these when they're angry.

“You‘re always like that!!”
”You never clean up, do you?”
”Everyone does this!!”

Always...never...everyone...
Ladies, do you use these terms a lot?

- When you preach kids
Increasing kids hate themselves nowadays.
It’s a shame, isn’t it?
We all need to like ourselves if we wanna enjoy our lives.
Kids who can’t accept themselves tend to be isolated later on.

Why the talk of self-acceptance all of a sudden, you're wondering?
Because this is related to the topic I mentioned earlier.
Right, women hurt kids’ pride by their way of preaching.

Always...never...everyone...
These words deny kids' personality.

In the case of Ryo, for example,
it’s not true that he “always” messes around his room,
or that he “never” cleans it up.
It’s far from truth that “everyone” cleans up his/her room.

BUT, by using those words, Yuko hurts Ryo's personality.
He’d seriously believe, “I’m worse than everyone, and I always mess things up.”
Ryo might end up not being able to accept himself.

- When you preach adults
Adults are easier.
We grown-up guys can say, “I do clean up my room sometimes.”
Yeah, that will exactly lead to a more severe fight, though...
Because you women will say, “that’s not the point.”
But we have to be logical, you know.

Those words like “always”, “never” and “everyone” do irritate us, though.
So ladies, please be careful when you preach someone.

- So what to do?
Just don’t deny others’ personality when you preach them.

Ladies, here’s the ideal preaching example.
”You didn’t clean up your room today. That’s bad.”
If you say this, your kid will know you put emphasis on “cleaning” itself.
Focus on necessary action.

Your way of treating influences your kids a lot.
Of course, guys need to do their share of kids raising, too,
if you want your kids to be self-content.

And to guys...refer to the 15th issue, “How to Make Guys Appologize”.
Remember, you’re raising them as well as your kids.

19th Issue @ Geisha Today Guy’s Sight

2006-07-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

Mami ： “Look!! He seems so weird!!”
This is when Mami and Kazuki played pool.
Mami looked around others and found a good looking guy playing in weird style.
Yes, that guy was surely handsome with his hipshaking...

Isn’t that one of the things you enjoy when playing pool, girls?
But Kazuki looked straight forward the guy...in stead of peeking.
Mami thought, “guys...they can never be good on disguising.”

Here’s the thing, girls.
Guys can’t peek!!

- Guy’s sight is limited.
Girls, didn’t you have the experience being embarrassed by your guys this way?
As you can see, guys can only see forward, not back.
We aren’t skillful like you, girls.
Some book even say “guys can’t find ketchup in the fridge.”
See how our sight is limited?
’Cuz we see only forward, we can’t look around to find the ketchup.

I myself often lose sight of my controllers.
Even though it’s usually me who put it on the corner.
I guess you girls don’t have this problem...

- Please don’t get annoyed
Girls, please don’t get annoyed.
That doesn’t mean we guys are damn.
We look only the forward, and we take time to look for small things,
just ‘cuz we’re guys!!

If you want us to peek, just remind us.
It becomes better...a little.
And when we take time finding controllers, don’t say a word.
Or it might be better you girls find them.

Please take us just the way we are.
Don’t get annoyed...

18th Issue @ Geisha Today Princess

2006-07-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

Princess lifting...
You know what I mean, guys, the one we saw in “Gone with the Wind”.
Did you have the experience of doing it? Or letting someone do it?

- “Near and classy”
Guys, do you understand what girls want for your date?
Girls want “near and classy” date.
Girls wanna be “princess” by dressing like one some time.
BUT, if they dress like princess, they can’t walk much with high-heels.

Guys, you should try it some time.
High-heels are really hurting...

So now we know girls wanna dress like princess some time.
They enjoy the process.
So don’t spoil their fan.
Make your date in near spot but classy.
Like fancy restaurants nearby, or trendy bars.
This is reeealy important.
You’re keeping your girls beautiful by bringing them to fancy dates.

- Girls are princess
I said girls wanna be “princess”.
They don’t.
They are actually princesses from the day they were born.
And they’re happy when they’re treated like so.

Check out the CF from “ゼクシー”, if you doubt.
You’ll get the message saying, “all girls are princesses”.
Guys, girls might use other way of saying, but they do have the feeling of “princess”.
You needto recognize it, and live with that!!

17th Issue @ Geisha Today Sense of Happiness

2006-07-09T16:39:00.000-07:00

“O, I feel so happy...”

Both you guys and girls sure had this feeling in your life, right?
But how many of you knew girls and guys have different sense of happiness?
If you know how it’s different, you know how to survive...uh, sorry,
how to get along with your mate.

- We’ll start from conclusion
Guys like to feel a great happiness in once.
But girls like to sense each small happiness in everyday life.
Guys, REMEMBER this, or you’ll get into trouble.

- Guy’s sense of happiness
If you refer to 4th Issue ("Let's Praise Them!!),
you know guys feel happy when you compliment?
This is important.
Guys need to feel happy as a result of some effort.
Like when they accomplish the tough projects they were on for past 6 months.
They’re genuinely excited.
Think of that!! 6 months!!
They sure like to take time for feeling happy!!
Sound stupid?
But this IS when they, we, feel happy.

Guys like to feel a great happiness in once.

No wonder most of engineers are male.
You can’t be an engineer if you don’t find it worth taking time before achieving something...

- Girl’s sense of happiness
I had a great Ceyron tea this morning!!
My boyfriend cooked for me!!
I found a dress of my kind!!

Girls sure have lots of sources for happiness.
Really lots, and not huge ones, either.
They enjoy everything they do.
Shopping, tea time, diners...

Girls like to sense each small happiness in everyday life.

- Hasn’t it occurred to you？
Misa ： “ You don’t care for me anymore!!”
Nobuyuki ： “I AM caring you!! That’s why I work so hard everyday!!”
"And I did buy you a present on our anniversary.”

Did you realize this argument is based on the different sense of happiness
between girls and guys?
Guys think girls are happy after giving one big present.
But girls feel they couldn’t find small happiness for so long after the big present.

Guys, don’t be swept away...
You’ve given your best, right?
Working hard everyday, celebrating your anniversary...

But there’s one truth.
Partners need to feel happy if you wanna keep the relationship.

So, what do we have to do?
Easy question!!
You need to buy flowers, rub your girl’s shoulders, take them to dinners...
That’s all.
You just need to do these once in a while.
And your girl will act totally different to you.

- Treat them big for guys
So it’s your turn, girls.
What do you need to do for us, guys?
Treat us big!!

We guys like to have great happiness!!
So we won’t forget it if you celebrate big when we accomplish long-term projects!!
Remember, do it BIG.
And as we’re guys, we won’t need to be cared for long afterwords...

- In the end
Guys like to feel a great happiness in once.
But girls like to sense each small happiness in everyday life.
This is a big difference.
Let’s remember this, and find happiness in the relationship!!

16th Issue @ Geisha Today How Girls Apologize

2006-07-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

Ayumi ： “I’m sorry...”
Yuji ： “It’s alright as you understood.”

...Girls seem to have no offence in apologizing.
They apologize easily.

How come they don’t feel any offence in apologizing?
Guys, we need to study their mentality!!
’Cuz usually you are missing the reason behind.

- Introduction
When guys apologize, we admit the fact we did something wrong.
If we break a promise, we say, “Sorry I broke the promise.”

But girls apologize for something else!!
I tell you, they have totally different mentality from us guys!!

- Girls care other's feeling and atmosphere
Girls apologize just by caring other’s feeling or the atmosphere in some cases.
If they break a promise, they say sorry
not because they break promise, but for making the atmosphere bad.

Yeah, guys, I know what you’re thinking and you’re right!!
Girls don’t care what they did wrong, and apologize just for making the atmosphere good!!
Almost always!!

Not fair, right? But it is...at least for girls...

- Girls are practical!!
Girls apologize for having made YOU angry.
Their purpose then, is to
a) recover the atmosphere or/and
b) make you calm.

When girls and guys have fight, it’s often getting escalated ‘cuz nobody apologizes.
It’s getting nowhere, then.

But thanks to girls’ feature of apologizing, we ARE getting somewhere!!
So guys, learn from your girls!!
It might not be fair to you, but it sure WORKS!!

15th Issue @ Geisha Today How To Make Guys Apologize

2006-06-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

Mikiko : “Why you don’t admit you were wrong?!”

Really familiar situation, isn’t it?
Guys don’t apologize in the middle of fighting…even if we are wrong.
I heard my readers asking, “Is there any way to make guys apologize?”
It sure seems so tough to make guys do it.

So today’s topic; how to make guys apologize when they are wrong.

- Simply give it up.
There’s one thing sure.
Guys would never ever admit they are wrong while fighting.

I myself tried my best to change this habit, but I haven’t been able to.
Well, we might, if you say things like we get fired if we don’t apologize.
But there aren’t so many cases you girls can have this kind of ultimate power, are there?
Even if you succeeded, we obey you only on surface, which is meaningless to you.

When girls and guys have fight, usually we miss the point of each other like this.
Mikiko ： “You’re always escaping the housework!!”
Satoshi ： “Always? No, I did help you last time, didn’t I?”

Mikiko wanted to emphasize Satoshi doesn’t help,
while Satoshi answers he does sometimes help.
There’s no meaning in keeping this conversation, ‘cuz it never gets anywhere.
So girls, finish the conversation when it gets like this.
It can only be worse if you continue.
When you fight with guys, there’s no hope they'd apologize to you.

- Don’t rationalize.
Here’s the tip after you leave the unproductive conversation.
Don’t rationalize things to guys.

Girls are able to apologize, to keep relationships good.
But guys aren’t. To us, apologizing means losing.

So when you girls rationalize things and try to prove we guys are wrong,
we feel like you force us to “admit losing”.
And we can’t accept this by our instinct.
When our instinct rejects, there’s no way guys apologize to you.
So…please girls, don’t rationalize things over us.

- Make guys touched.
So how do you make us guys apologize?
You can use certain techniques when you communicate with guys.
It dramatically works when you looks sad and say,
“I was hurt so much when you told me this and that.”

When your guy suddenly canceled the date, for example,
you should look sad and say, “I felt so sad losing valuable time spending with you.”
Every single guy will feel guilty.
Even more, we get touched!!!!!

’Cuz we don’t feel offended, we don’t have that stupid concept of losing, either.
So make guys touched when you want them to apologize.

- 3 key points on how to make guys apologize
（１） Understand guys won’t apologize when we fight.
（２） Don’t rationalize.
（３） Tell us you felt sad and make us guys touched.
This will make things totally different!!

14th Issue @ Geisha Today How to Choose Presents

2006-05-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

Me: “Kawori, which necklace do you think is the best?”
Kawori: “Of course the tanzanite one is the best!!”
Me: “Oh, why? I thought the pink tourmaline one was the best…?”

To my surprise, Kawori chose the one totally unexpected.
Is this only the matter of taste? No.
Everyone who’s got the right taste would choose the pink tourmaline!!
And yet, Kawori normally show her right taste.
She's got to!! Otherwise I’d not trust her for picking my girl’s BD present!!

By this point, I didn’t realize girls and guys see different aspects.
Totally different aspects of things.

- Different aspects of necklace
I asked Kawori why she chose the tanzanite necklace.
She said, “the chain looks cuter.”
The chain!! I didn’t even know it existed!!
And it sure was cuter than the other...
What I saw until then was the head part.

- Girls see the whole, and guys focus on one point
Girls see every details.
So Kawori checked the chain.
Girls notice when guys don’t pay full attention on some parts…immediately.

Like when we wear brand-new Armani suits, but wear one-year-old socks.
They'd immediately put the “uncool” label on us.
Believe me, I pay full attention on pens and pencils, even!!

Guys focus only on one point.
In this case, I saw only the head part.
Not even a glance on other parts.

- Presents for your girls
Guys, check all the details for your girls’ presents, like they'd do.
You need to know we see the different aspects of things from girls.
Otherwise, they won’t like our presents.
Choose something with great details.

If it’s a necklace, pick the one with cute chain.
Of course you need to care about wrappings, too.
Inside counts. That’s only for guys!!
Girls are not like us.

So I bought the tanzanite necklace, following Kawori’s advice.
No choice. The purpose was to satisfy my girl.
Of course, I had to treat Kawori with dinner, which cost half the price of the necklace...

13th Issue @ Geisha Today "Negociator-2"

2006-04-20T01:57:00.000-07:00

After the 11th issue, I received many e-mails like these.
"Why does she have to ask her has to clean? I'm sure she's old enough to do that herself."
"I'm a type of girl who can't ask my guy anything. I'm too capable to handle things myself."

Obviously, there're girls who are not requesting their guys to do something.
So let's see how guys react when they are asked to do something.
Girls, you won't feel shy asking things after reading this!!

- Guys' reaction toward requests -
I need Sayoko-the-Negociator with me again.

Sayoko："Daring, can you go buy us breads and milk for tomorrow morning?"
Kenji："Well, I'm a little tired today…"
But our Sayoko won't give up easily.

Sayoko："You know, it's a bit dangerous for girls to walk by ourselves at night.
And of course you can buy anything you like if you go!!"
She remains cheerful.

Kenji："OK. I guess there's no choise."
Sayoko："Daring, that's so sweet!! Thank you!!"
So poor Kenji ended up going out.

- Annoying? -
Kenji seemes reluctant at the beginning, saying he was tired.
But Sayoko doesn't give up.
Some of you girls might think she's annoying Kenji. But NO!!!

Kenji said "well…"
He's taking his time thinking.
Saying "yes" immediately will leave no choise, and he needed to think.

If guys say "well…" or "you know", that means they 're thinking.
They aren't reluctant as you think.
They just need some time to think.

So don't give up when they say "well…" Keep asking.
Otherwise, you'll miss a good opportunity.

- During the shopping -
What does Kenji think during the shopping?
This is really important to understand guys' mentality.

He thinks, "How nice am I to make my wife's request true!!"
He forgets he reacted reluctantly at the beginning.
Guys try to justfy their decisions.
Once they decided to make the requests come true,
they act like it was their choice from the beginning.

- Finishing -
It's really important to say "thank you" when guys accept your requests.
This will give them the motivation for your next request.

Sayoko said "thank you" right away when Kenji decided to go shopping.
Moreover, she says, "Thank you, daring. I", so happy that you're such a caring has!!"
This satisfies Kenji a lot and eager to listen to next requests.

So girls, never forget to say "thank you" when they accept your requests!!

Sayoko-the-Negociator is one step a head.
She told Kenji that he was a wonderful has. This is really great.
Compliment after "thank you" works double.
You might wanna say things like, "you're sweet" or "wonderful".
There's always next request you can count on!!

Girls, I hope you're not intimidated to ask your guys to do something now.
You really don't have to worry when they say "well…"
As I told you, they just need time to think.
Don't frustrate yourself with thinking, "I can't ask my guy anything."
Depend on him!!

12th Issue @ Geisha Today "Word-of-Mouth"

2006-04-20T01:46:00.000-07:00

Yoshimi："I found a nice pasta restaurant!!"
Akiko："Where's that? I'm curious."

Hikari："Hey, wanna try a great cream puff? That pastry has great stuff!!"
Mayumi："Great!! Let's try it!!"

These, we call word-of-mouth that produce trends.
You can guess. Most word-of-mouth are distributed by girls.
But why not guys?

- Topic sharing and grouping -
Girls love the type of conversation that exchange sympathy.
I call this type of conversation the "rapport type."
French word meaning "bringing" sympathy to every members.

Most of girls' talk are based on rapport type.
When you exchange sympathy, it's easier to exchange informations, too.
Really efficient!!

Then what do we need for exchanging sympathy?
A common topic.
It should be things that's familiar with girls' lives.
Not like guys. We love talking about "big" things.
So if it has to be something that's familiar with our lives,
it will be naturally about the foods and neighbours.

One more feature of girls.
They like grouping themselves.
They even go to washroom together!!
Or to bargain sales…

These 2 features of you, girls, topic sharing and grouping,
make you capable of produing word-of-mouth.
Conversation that exchanges sympathy.
And willingness to share the fan together.
This will be brought up into word-of-mouth and evolved into trends.

- Way to distribute the information -
Now we know how informations are exchanged.
But what makes them distributed so widely?
Can't we make best out of it?

Let me show you the case of Yoshimi for you, girls.

Yoshimi's target was to be widely advertised to get invited over to "matching partis".
First she needed to make catch-copies.
Put one unique word in it.
Of course, no one will distribute the informations for "so-so Ramen"!!
It has to be "thick noodles that taste wild" to make people wanna try or talk.

Yoshimi told everyone that she's "good at finding right spot for matching parties".
She knows restaurants that have magic shows, etc.
And her informations were truly nice for those parties!!

Here's how she goes.
Yoshimi："It's so long ago that I had last party with guys!!"
Mayumi："Miho said she will have a matching party.
Why don't you ask if she's fixed with members."

Yoshimi："It's so long ago that I had last party with guys!!"
Miho："Good timing!! Are you free on Wednesday evening?
We're having a matching party. But I need to find a nice place."
Yoshimi："Shall I fix the place?"
Miho："Really? That's so sweet!!"

So everyone started to ask Yoshimi out for matching party, 'cuz she's useful.
Even guys ask her out when they need some kinda management.
Finding right place is really crucial for matching parties,
and they know they can depend on Yoshimi for that.
Catch-copies or valuable informations is the motivation for the word-of-mouth.

Let's hope Yoshimi will find Mr. Right in the end…

11th Issue @ Geisha Today "Negociator"

2006-04-20T01:35:00.000-07:00

Sayoko："Daring, can you clean our room?"
Has："I'm a little busy today, sorry, honey."

This Sayoko girl is usually a good negociator.
She gets always what she wants, but today…?
She knew her has was busy, but she asked him to clean their room.

Actually, this conversation was exactly what she had in mind.
Her has, say Kenji, turned her down this time.
Kenji now feels sorry for turning down her request.

Sayoko got him do far more tiring job than cleaning their room next.
Cleaning air conditioner!!
But how did she do it?

- Being even -
Guys value "being even."
Being even means they should return eveything they owe.

I'm sure you've grown up with Bond guys saying "I owed you this. We're even now."
Grils would never do that.

Guys live on being even.
They must return what they owe you, girls.
And they feel they owe you something when they turn down your request to clean rooms!!

That's right.
Sayoko's strategy was to meke her has owing something to her.
And poor Kenji did exactly what he was programmed to do…"return what he owes."
Nice move, Sayoko!!

Girls, if you want your guys doing something for you,
it's easier if you make them turn you down once.
So always prepare request β beforehand.
That will always bring you the wish α!!
Moreover, you need to be used to requesting things to guys.
Cleaning, cooking, picking you up at the station…
All those fake requests will bring you the true wish.

10th Issue @ Geisha Today "When a Guy's in Trouble"

2006-04-18T04:51:00.000-07:00

"It's nothing, just leave me alone."
Girls, haven't you heeard your guys talking like that?
Why don't guys just speak up what's bothering them?
Why is it always the case that you try to listen to them and end up arguing with them?

- Girls and guys have different reaction toward troubles -
Girls persuade themselves while discussing the matter with others.
That doesn't happen for guys.
Girls, if you don't understand this, you might annoy them by doing them "a favor".

Guys need time to think over things alone.
Totally different from you, girls.
Guys persuade themselves while thinking things over and over alone.

'Cuz not many couples understand this difference, they go through all arguing.
Like this one…

Guy A：…
Girl B："What's wrong? Some trouble?" （Gosh, I'm a bit nervous with his look.）
A："There's nothing you can do." （Jesus, can't she realize I'm thinking something?）
B："Baby, if something's bothering you, just tell me what it is." （As I thought!! He's in trouble.)
A："Nothing's bothering me!!" （Is she ever gonna let me think?）
B："Why don't you tell me? You don't trust me?"
A："Of course I trust you!! But can't you give me a break?"（Why the hell we deal with "trust" here?)
B："OK, if you don't wanna talk with me, fine!!"

Reeealy typical.
Girls want their guys to persuade themselves, so they wanna let them talk.
While guys, need some concentration…

- Why guys need to be alone while thinking? -
Guys used to hunt, ah, in old era.
They couldn't of course depend on others.
They were all alone when they had troubles.

Naturally, guys developped themselves thinking alone to come up with solutions.
Girls, you need to understand that.
No offence, we're just different from you.

- Solution -
I think you've understood by now.
Don't let them talk what's bothering them.
And guys, you need to tell your girls you wanna be alone 'cuz you're thinking.
（Of course you need to tell them about the different reaction before that.）

So let's start it over again, shall we?

Guy A：…
Girl B："What's wrong? Some trouble?"
A："Ah, I'm thinking. Can you give me some time alone?"
B："OK, let me know when you're done." （Huh, guess I need to watch TV alone.）A："Yeah." （OK, now think it over.）

How painless it is!!

9th Issue @ Geisha Today "Enjoy Shopping - 2"

2006-04-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

The prior issue dealt with how to make guys follow girls' shopping.
I think I might add something about shopping a little more.

Guys, haven't you gone into troubles when your girl asked your opinion on specific choise?
Well…I have.
Girls are easily irritated with our out-of-place answers,
and don't accept vague ones, either.
Then what should we do?

As you learned from our last lesson, girls enjoy the whole process of shopping.
Asking us our opinions is just one step inbetween.

So think in vice versa.
What you need to do is to answer in a way your girl can enjoy shopping.
So you need to be sure what your girl wants.
Let's look them closer.

- Look them in the eyes -
If your girl asked if she'd look good with her choise of clothing,
you need to look her in the eyes in stead of looking at the clothing,
so that you can tell what she wants you to say.
If her eyes are glittering, that most likely means she wants one last push.
All you need to say is, "you look great."

If her eyes look unsure, you can say,
"that's not bad, but I like your usual look."

Of course it's important to tell your opinions,
but to make things complicated, everyone has different taste.
In stead of sounding offensive, you can make the best from your girl's tatste!!

- If you need to choose -
What if your girl brought you 2 pieces?
Of course you can tell which one she likes better byooking at her eyes.
But what if she's seriously considering both?
In that case, you can say your honest opinions.
Not in your guys talk, though.
Remember, you need to care about your girl's feeling in order to enjoy shopping.
Think about her taste again.

Think about her wardrobe, and find similar color, design, and materials in one of her choises.
Then you can say, "you always look good in this type."
Your girl will give you a credit.

But what if she brought you unusual types of clothing?
Then you can say with your heart, "you might wanna try new type like this one."
I mean, you honestly need to be cooperative if you want your girl to broaden
her variety in fashion.

I heard some guys are under lots of pressure during shopping with their girls.
But I know it's not that difficult.
Hope you liked my tips and enjoy shopping.
if you want your girl to broaden her range of fashion.

8th Issue @ Geisha Today "Enjoy Shopping - 1"

2006-04-17T13:56:00.000-07:00

"Why don't you get your things done while I smoke here?"
This conversation tqkes a lot between couples while they shop.
Especially when girls want to buy their clothing.
Girls wants to have fan with you, guys, while you wanna get away with them.
How does this happen?

- Girls love whole process of shopping -
It's not a pain for them to strive deciding which is better from the other. It's a pure joy.
Girls actually spend a day going for bargain sales!!
Sure, when they go into cafes once in 2 hours, it's not that all reasonable anymore…
I know you guys want to declare the fact to girls…uh, that it's meaningless.
BUT, shopping for girls is an entertainment that's worth costing.
As I said, girls love the whols process of shopping.

- Guys don't love shopping -
Guys don't like shopping. Especially when it's not their shopping.
That's why guys trapped in girls' shopping seem bored.
Naturally!! 'cuz shopping for guys is just a way to get what they want.

This is where the frustration comes both for girls and guys.
Guys, don't tell your girls, "all that hours and you can't get even a pair of shoes!!"
They want to have fan with you during the process… Respect that.
And girls, please understand guys don't like shopping.
It doesn't make sence to tell them to enjoy it.

But girls, that doesn't mean you can't take your guys shopping.
There's a way that ease guys' pain while shopping!!
Get your guys score each shop's level!!
Duh, that sounds so useless…doesn't it? But I can explain.

Guys are good at, and love analyzing.
Don't they even try to analyze the solution while you're on the way of explaining things?
Believe me, they love analyzing. Plus, they're good at it!!
So let them analyze each shop.

But telling them just to analyze the shops won't be clear enough.
That's why you need to tell them to score the level of each shop.
Level of shops' atmosphere, attendants' quality, mechandising, etc.
After, you just need to let them walk through the shops and analyze them.

If you ask guys their opinion when you walk out of the shops,
guys would answer you with satisfaction.
That makes two of you happy, doesn't it?

I'm so proud to come up with this ideam which will erase one big dispution between the genres!!

7th Issue @ Geisha Today "Peeking"

2006-04-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about business today.

"Something's happening in Shinjuku!!"

This is an advertisement for a refurbished shopping center in Shinjuku.

Targets were "women in 20s through 30s," according to the rep on TV.

The targeted women have more freedom in using their money,

and are good on word-of-mouth marketing, which make them wonderful targets.

If these women favor the place, the moll is on the rise for sure.

So the team thought on the advertising again and again,

and built the strategy..unfortunately, with guy's idea..I think.

I'm not saying that guys are unqualified.

I'm saying guys didn't think with women's viewpoints.

"Something's happening in Shinjuku!!"

Surely people would wonder what's in it.

This is called "teasing ad."

I'd call it "peeking ad" in stead.

What I wanna say is, women have different reaction to this kind of ad!!

They are…uh, not interested really.

Obviously this guys team didn't know that.

Women prefer more of "clearness."

You need to talk to them on :

a. your advantages b. price zone c. which kind of women are targeted.

Peeking ads are for guys.

For women, you'd say, "Tired working? You need a princess time,"

And of course, a picture of a princess @ your moll would be greaaaat.

Make women image themselves clearly in your place.

Remember guys, peeking is not for women.

6th Issue @ Geisha Today "Not Noticing"

2006-04-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

Doesn't it happen a lot that girls getting mad during the conversation with guys?
Guys, I'm sure you don't understand what went wrong…
And girls, you are mad 'cuz your guy doesn't understand you even though you gave him the sign!!

This happens reeeeeally a lot.
Let me show you the situation with an example.

" Let me have a break "
Girls and guys have different expression for telling they "need a break."
Let's see how this causes the problem.

Say you and your girl saw Starbucks on your way.
And your girl said, "Don't you wanna have a break?"
If you are the one suggesting, it’s gonna be, "Let's have a break" in stead.

Saw the diffrence?
Girls tend to express their feeling with questions, and us guys express..sure, directly.
So girls do understand what we're saying, of course!!
But us guys..we're having trouble here.

Girls, if you stick with other girls, you won't have problem
and will have your favorite cups soon.
But..that's unlikely to happen with guys.
Please don't ask guys when you're determined!!

Guys are simple. We just take your words as they are!!
So usually, we'd say, "Nuh, I don't need a break."

If this is the case,You are not communicating well as you think you are.

Guys don't understand that your questions are suggestions.
It's even harder to train us understanding what your suggestions are.
Not mentioning…having it as a habit.

Communication with other genres are more complicated than you think.
We all need to make an effort on that.

So girls, you can start from saying, "Let's have a break."
You don't need to care about our feelings, you know.
We are not so profond as..you are!!

5th Issue @ Geisha Today "Personality"

2006-03-22T11:57:00.000-08:00

Readers, let me introduce myself a bit today, as I received some e-mails asking for my profile.
(Oups!! Taotally forgot about that!!)

My Name; Hayato Oda
Real Name; Actually, it's not that far from real one.
BD; August 17th, 1977
Birth Place; Osaka, the city known for comedy in Japan.
After 22 years in Osaka, moved to Tokyo.
Occupation; Consulting on communications in business environment.
Philosofy in Life; Communication comes first in everything,
especially in relationships between man and woman!!
Hope you find my tips useful for your own relationship!!
Published Books; "Girls Waiting for Marchen" – Of course, Marchen the
princess tales, but also means reply mail in Japanese.
Actually, lots of Japanese girls read this book and found a way to
make their love reply their mails!!
"MBA Methods for Love Relationship" – which teaches guys how to be successful in love relationships.
'bout GeishaToday; I refer to modern Japanese girls as "Geisha Today."
As they have most profond tendency to keep their desires inside
them, I think my tips through the experience with Japanese girls will
be useful globally.

So you know a little of who I am now.
Guys, girls, I'm open for your opinions on the topics!!

By the way, it's interesting to see girls asking for my profile, and no guys doing so.
This certainly has something to do with girl's feature.

Girls value knowing who people they talk with are.

Didn't it happen to you that teachers at schools told you not to run?
And girls ignored it when they were told by the teachers they hated?
These girls would listen to them if they were told by the teachers they like, believe me.

Guys surely have the same tendency, but Gosh, not as severe as girls!!
If we don't listen, we don't listen no matter who told them, do we?
We guys need to be persuaded by our own logics, though.

But guys, don't be rude to girls 'cause they are right on this concept.
Informations are made by people, and girls can shut out the needless
by selecting people who carry them.
If the person can be trusted, their information can be, too.

So, if you want girls to listen to you, let them trustyour personality first!!
Remember, logics don't work in this case.

And guys, how do we deal with suggestions and informations?
We judge with our own logics and values.

In stead of the person who carry the informations,
guys judge the informations themselves based on our experiences and knowledge.
Personality of the carrier doesn't count as much.
And this is exactly why you guys weren't interested in my profile!!

This explains why girls are tied stronger with each other than us guys.
Don't girls play major role in mouth-to-mouth marketing?
And don't they transfer trends so quickly?
This is all because they choose people first.
And during the course, they need to know people's profiles!!

Guys on the other hand, have long history of inventing logics.
How to succeed in business, how to avoid fqilures...
We focus on the incidents.

It's amazing tiny difference like these can cause lots of troubles.
Hope you understand how minds work differently,
and find the solution with your partner!!

4th Issue @ Geisha Today “Let’s praise them!!”

2006-03-05T16:56:00.001-08:00

Today’s topic deals with Japanese business edge.

In Japan, business how-to books these days deal mainly with
“how to raise your subordinates by praising them.”
Which is totally a fine idea!!

Even a charismatic business leader like Yukio Funai emphasizes
the importance of strengthening the advantages of each human resource.
Disadvantages can be the vice versa of advantage, he’d say.
What’s important is to find the advantage and enforce it.
Beeeeeautiful philosophy, don’t you think?

For instance, I’m short-headed. I can’t concentrate for long time.
I used to think I need to change.
Now I’ve given up on overcoming it, and am trying to make my characteristics useful.

I am open to many things at the same time as being short-headed.
I’m curious about new and unique things.
Disadvantages reflect advantages.

Now, to shift the disadvantages to advantages needs “praise”.
Business books refer how to praise and the usefulness of it.

But wait a minute.
Can we use the same method for praising male and female?
Didn’t we talk about how different we are?

That’s true.
When you want to praise a guy, you need to mention his “achievements”.
“Hey, Mr. Yamada, you improved our benefit by 10% with your project!!Great work!!”
Mr. Yamada here will be proud to see the results with clear figures.

This persistence toward achievement comes from the ancient memory of hunting.
If he gets the food determined his value back then.

On the other hand, women like to be mentioned on the process.
“Ms. Watanabe, thank you for gathering new comers’ attention in one hand
and support the project work smoothly.”

Women have histories of supporting their family for long time.
This kind of work does not come with figures, as small efforts lead to comforts.
Because of that, women need to be rewarded by being praised for their effort and process,
rather than achievements.

Tell women that we thank them for their hard and detailed work,
in stead of praising them for improving the cash flow.
Remember, guys care about their achievements, and women values process.

3rd Issue@ Geisha Today “Ladies, we give thou”

2006-03-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

As you guessed, this tip is for you, guys.

Thank God V’s Day is over...
Unlike in other countries, V’s Day is for girls in Japan to confess their love...
But it turned out to be just a preliminary day for White Day,
which is one month away from V’s Day.

And W Day for Japanese guys is the day to return their love with triple presents to girls!!
Of course you wanna know the reason for this, huh?

Girls love presents, I mean, to receive them.

Guys, I know you like to receive presents, too.
But girls are obsessed with the action.

Do you remember girls around you exchange presents on their BDs?
While you and your best male friend don’t even remember each other's?

Think how easy it is to imagine a girl picking souvenirs at the shop.
She picks presents with biggest attention to make her people enjoy it.
Especially for someone who means a lot to her.
This action shows how much affection means to girls.
Giving presents is an action that shows their affection.

So guys, giving presents to girls is not just an action,
but an action to show you care about them!!

Here are 2 tips to pick right presents.

First, give the girl what she wants.
It can be daily stuff she uses, like soap or cooking spices.
Finding out her wishes before asking her is truly appealing.

Secondly, you can give her a “joy of life.”
Flowers, accessories, fancy sweets...you name it.
These presents give more value than the presents themselves have to the girl.
The message that you care about her.

Here’s the eternal truth.
Girls become so happy when they receive presents.
They will return you guys the affection, which worth more than those presents...I guess...

You can use the same knowledge on business situation, too.
Like when one of your female colleague gives you a small gift.
You can make the office atmosphere really nice if you give her back the “right” daily stuff.

It’s hard to tell what she wants without a proper conversation, though.
So you can assume her wishes by asking,“Do you happen to like the XXX I bought last week?” Ain’t that simple?

2nd Issue @ Geisha Today

2006-03-05T16:55:00.000-08:00

Ladies, today it’s your turn!!
Let me explain guys in one word for you...
They are, I mean, we are insects!!

As a representative of male species, I myself can’t resist something moving.
At a meeting today, I saw a guy in front of me scratching his toes.
Obviously, he had itchy toes.

What a day!!!!!
Five minutes from the beginning, and I couldn’t concentrate on it anymore...
With something moving right in front of me???
Not a chance!!

Then I noticed women were doing just fine,even expressing their opinions
without even looking at the guy!!
What’s this all about?

Yes, you got the answer!!
Guys can’t resist seeing something moving.

Here’s the excuse, though.
Moving objects used to mean something to hunt, or even dangerous for guys
during the ancient era.
This is the origin of guys being attracted to things like insects that move,
which is, uh, obviously out of time in modern days.

Some of you wise ladies might have noticed us guys have the same disadvantage for glitters...
for the same reason.

This explains why there are pink lightings everywhere in "meeting spots"...
shining and moving at the same time!!!!!

Let’s put it in the daily life.
TV is exactly the object, shining and moving at the same time.
Guys concentrate so much on TV shows.

If you ladies would like some favors from us guys, ask us when we aren’t watching TV...
simply because we don’t remember what you’ve said!!

In business, knowing this tip brings you well at your presentation.
If the key person you want to impress is a guy, use animation effect on the key points.

In love life, sit in front of the wall at restaurants,so that you’d be the only moving thing
from your love’s point of view.
Shine of your eyes would be sooo perfect!!!!!
With this situation, guys are attracted to you like “insects.”

1st Issue @ Geisha Today

2006-03-05T16:54:00.000-08:00

Guys, today, I'm talking to you!!
What do you say if I told you “not to consult girls when they asked for your advice”?

Yes, you heard me right.
DO NOT consult girls when they ask for your advice.

Have you ever had an experience that you pissed off a girl when you told her advices?
Well…I have.
I gave a girl a solution for her problem, and she got mad.

I’ll give you a practical tip.
When you consult girls, just listen to them carefully and show your sympathy.

I know you'd go, “hey, wait a minute, don’t they need advices they asked for?”
Here’s the bottom line.
Girls value sympathy, and don't care about solution as us guys do.
That is...even if they asked for your advices in the first place.

Believe me.
Don’t ask them to explain how the problem happened,
but listen to them explaining how sad they are that things went wrong.

I bet you explain other people how bad your last flu was.
That’s the thing girls need to do, explain their feeling.

So...remember.
Don’t consult, but sympathize.

You might think you didn’t need to know this.
But take it in this way.
What if the girl you want to hang out has a problem...
And you say “I know the feeling” in stead of good & old “this you shouldn’t have done.”
In most cases, she’s all yours.

If you really want to give her advices, tell them to her after she expresses her dilemma,
as gently as you can.

This tip will come in handy in business relationships, too!!
Here again, you need to start with sympathy,and tell women that thing will work out “better”
if they take your advice.

Sometimes, you don’t need to fight to make things work for you.